Reconciled Diversity

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Pope Francis’ most recent encyclical Amoris Laetitia he asks married couples us to apply a new approach when they disagree called “reconciled diversity”.

 

This is a beautifully written concept which takes that old adage of “agree to disagree” to a new level. One that is more Christ like, more faith filled. Now being a mother of a child who experiences same sex attraction, I have taken away a few key points from his exhortation and have put a bit of a spin on it to help me enrich my relationship with my child.

 

139. Keep an open mind. Don’t get bogged down in your own limited ideas and opinions, but be prepared to change or expand them.

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Be open to my child, “LISTEN” to him. Do not shut him out otherwise you will lose him. Listen with an open heart and pray Jesus will bring him back to the truth.

 

The unity that we seek is not uniformity, but a “unity in diversity”, or “reconciled diversity”. Fraternal communion is enriched by respect and appreciation for differences within an overall perspective that advances the common good. We need to free ourselves from feeling that we all have to be alike.

 

We are not all alike. My child experiences same sex attraction. This is as real to him as being attracted to the opposite sex is to me. However, because he feels that way does not mean that I, as a faithful Catholic, agree with his actions. I have to accept him as he is and help bring him back to Holy Mother Church through prayer and compassion.

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A certain astuteness is also needed to prevent the appearance of “static” that can interfere with the process of dialogue. For example, if hard feelings start to emerge, they should be dealt with sensitively, lest they interrupt the dynamic of dialogue. The ability to say what one is thinking without offending the other person is important. Words should be carefully chosen so as not to offend, especially when discussing difficult issues. Making a point should never involve venting anger and inciting hurt. A patronizing tone only serves to hurt, ridicule, accuse and offend others.

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When we disagree I must keep my cool and apply the virtue of prudence to chose my words carefully. I love my child and want only his true happiness,  both now and for eternity. I am sharing the “Good News” with him, not the litany of condemnation. Therefore, my approach must be compassionate, joyful and hopeful. After all, who in their right mind would want to join the Church of NO and sad faces?

 

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What alters the mood, however, is the way things are said or the attitude with which they are said.

 

Again, the Catholic faith proclaims the “Good News.” My speech must reflect the hope, joy and love which flows as a well spring from the New Testament.

 

After much time and effort on my part using failed approaches, such as, arguing, crying, bribery and begging I have come to the conclusion that only The love of Jesus Christ can change his heart. For now we have a Reconciled Diversity and through the Grace of the Holy Spirit, Jesus will continue to use me to help bring him back to our beautiful faith and Holy Mother Church.

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Faith & Failure

 

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Faith & Failure

As a mother of a child who has same sex attraction, not a day goes by that I do not review my litany of regrets. What I should have done or what I should not have done, to be followed by the wish list, I wish I had, or wish he had, or we had and so it goes on and on. Driving me deeper and deeper into misery and despair.

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Yesterday, at mass in his homily, I felt as if the priest spoke to me when he addressed that very Christian concept of the “happy fault”. The early Church Fathers called Adam’s fall ‘the happy fault’, for without it there would be no need for redemption. Therefore, without Adam’s fall there would be no Christ. The priest went onto say that Jesus expects us to fail. He pointed to Peter who failed not once, but thrice in his denial of knowing Christ. Then Jesus forgives Peter for all three of his denials, his failings when Jesus calls upon Peter to “feed his sheep”. Jesus not only forgives but invites Peter to take up his role of leadership in Christ’s Church. Peter’s failing shows Jesus who through his mercy not only forgives but strengthens Peter’s faith.

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Indeed, Jesus calls us not because we are always right and good, but because we are fallen and have made mistakes. I am a good mother who has made mistakes. Like Peter who made mistakes, I need forgiveness. The sacrament of reconciliation has been a great comfort to me, a mother who has made mistakes, yes a sinner. But, I am also a mother who loves her child and remains faithful to Christ’s teachings, a mother who prays for her child.

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As the priest said, Jesus will pick up those who have fallen and ask who like Peter have asked for forgiveness. Failure tests our faith. Jesus will pick us up but we must have faith strong enough to trust that Jesus will help us. We need to work daily to strengthen our faith and trust in Christ.

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Short Prayer

Dear Jesus please forgive my past regrets, pick me up when I fail and fall, and while you are here with me please listen to my plea for my child. Amen.

Amoris Laetitia

Pope to church: Be more accepting of gays and lesbians, divorced Catholics

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  • This is the headline of the article posted on CNN.COM this morning.  It should not come as a surprise that a document title translated in English as Love, Joy (On Love in the Family) has this as it’s eye catcher. After all in our society, how many even read last the headline?  Put the most flashy and main stream acceptable verbiage is their goal.

  • Even so, this document contains outstanding teaching of our faith.  No doctrine has been changed, rest assured.  What it does is give life to the teachings is a means  to awaken the pastoral and caring nature of all Catholic, which we are all called to do.  Here is the points I find most applicable to our apostolate.

  • Pope Francis urged priests around the world to be more accepting of gays and lesbians, divorced Catholics and other people living in what the church considers “irregular” situations.

  • He emphasizes that “unjust discrimination” against gays and lesbians is unacceptable, downplays the idea of “living in sin” and suggests that priests should use their own discretion on whether divorced Catholics in new marriages can take Communion.

  • The Pope does not change Catholic doctrine on homosexuality, marriage, birth control or abortion in the paper.

  • In fact, he reiterates that marriage between a man and a woman remains the Catholic ideal, superior to other forms of union.

  • “In order to avoid all misunderstanding, I would point out that in no way must the Church desist from proposing the full idea of marriage,” he writes.

  • A “great variety of family situations … can offer a certain stability, but de facto or same-sex unions, for example, may not simply be equated with marriage,” he says.

  • “Every person, regardless of sexual orientation, ought to be respected in his or her dignity and treated with consideration.”

  • So while this does not change any official teachings of Mother Church, it does, in fact bring to the forefront in bold fashion what we should be doing as faithful followers of Jesus.  Today’s society has lost its compassion for their follow man.  It is a “horray for me and the hell to you” mentality.  This Pope has a mission to exhort us to find our true spirit, to find our way back.  What was that famous quote we have heard since we were just tots “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. That is all the Pope Francis is asking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Always Remember

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This is our motto to our loved ones afflicted with Same-Sex Attraction.

God  Bless !!